CHAPTER 132 The Symphony

Itwasaclearsteel-blueday.Thefirmamentsofairandseawerehardlyseparableinthatall-pervadingazure;only,thepensiveairwastransparentlypureandsoft,withawoman'slook,andtherobustandman-likeseaheavedwithlong,strong,lingeringswells,asSamson'schestinhissleep.

Hither,andthither,onhigh,glidedthesnow-whitewingsofsmall,unspeckledbirds;thesewerethegentlethoughtsofthefeminineair;buttoandfrointhedeeps,fardowninthebottomlessblue,rushedmightyleviathans,sword-fish,andsharks;andthesewerethestrong,troubled,murderousthinkingsofthemasculinesea.

Butthoughthuscontrastingwithin,thecontrastwasonlyinshadesandshadowswithout;thosetwoseemedone;itwasonlythesex,asitwere,thatdistinguishedthem.

Aloft,likearoyalczarandking,thesunseemedgivingthisgentleairtothisboldandrollingsea;evenasbridetogroom.Andatthegirdlinglineofthehorizon,asoftandtremulousmotion—mostseenhereattheequator—denotedthefond,throbbingtrust,thelovingalarms,withwhichthepoorbridegaveherbosomaway.

Tiedupandtwisted;gnarledandknottedwithwrinkles;haggardlyfirmandunyielding;hiseyesglowinglikecoals,thatstillglowintheashesofruin;untotteringAhabstoodforthintheclearnessofthemorn;liftinghissplinteredhelmetofabrowtothefairgirl'sforeheadofheaven.

Oh,immortalinfancy,andinnocencyoftheazure!Invisiblewingedcreaturesthatfrolicallroundus!Sweetchildhoodofairandsky!howobliviouswereyeofoldAhab'sclose-coiledwoe!ButsohaveIseenlittleMiriamandMartha,laughing-eyedelves,heedlesslygambolaroundtheiroldsire;sportingwiththecircleofsingedlockswhichgrewonthemargeofthatburnt-outcraterofhisbrain.

Slowlycrossingthedeckfromthescuttle,Ahableanedoverthesideandwatchedhowhisshadowinthewatersankandsanktohisgaze,themoreandthemorethathestrovetopiercetheprofundity.Butthelovelyaromasinthatenchantedairdidatlastseemtodispel,foramoment,thecankerousthinginhissoul.Thatglad,happyair,thatwinsomesky,didatlaststrokeandcaresshim;thestep-motherworld,solongcruel—forbidding—nowthrewaffectionatearmsroundhisstubbornneck,anddidseemtojoyouslysoboverhim,asifoverone,thathoweverwilfulanderring,shecouldyetfinditinherhearttosaveandtobless.FrombeneathhisslouchedhatAhabdroppedatearintothesea;nordidallthePacificcontainsuchwealthasthatoneweedrop.

Starbucksawtheoldman;sawhim,howheheavilyleanedovertheside;andheseemedtohearinhisowntrueheartthemeasurelesssobbingthatstoleoutofthecentreoftheserenityaround.Carefulnottotouchhim,orbenoticedbyhim,heyetdrewneartohim,andstoodthere.

Ahabturned.

"Starbuck!"

"Sir."

"Oh,Starbuck!itisamild,mildwind,andamildlookingsky.Onsuchaday—verymuchsuchasweetnessasthis—Istruckmyfirstwhale—aboyharpooneerofeighteen!Forty—forty—fortyyearsago!—ago!Fortyyearsofcontinualwhaling!fortyyearsofprivation,andperil,andstorm-time!fortyyearsonthepitilesssea!forfortyyearshasAhabforsakenthepeacefulland,forfortyyearstomakewaronthehorrorsofthedeep!Ayeandyes,Starbuck,outofthosefortyyearsIhavenotspentthreeashore.WhenIthinkofthislifeIhaveled;thedesolationofsolitudeithasbeen;themasoned,walled-townofaCaptain'sexclusiveness,whichadmitsbutsmallentrancetoanysympathyfromthegreencountrywithout—oh,weariness!heaviness!Guinea-coastslaveryofsolitarycommand!—whenIthinkofallthis;onlyhalf-suspected,notsokeenlyknowntomebefore—andhowforfortyyearsIhavefedupondrysaltedfare—fitemblemofthedrynourishmentofmysoil!—whenthepoorestlandsmanhashadfreshfruittohisdailyhand,andbrokentheworld'sfreshbreadtomymouldycrusts—away,wholeoceansaway,fromthatyounggirl-wifeIweddedpastfifty,andsailedforCapeHornthenextday,leavingbutonedentinmymarriagepillow—wife?wife?—ratherawidowwithherhusbandalive!Aye,IwidowedthatpoorgirlwhenImarriedher,Starbuck;andthen,themadness,thefrenzy,theboilingbloodandthesmokingbrow,withwhich,forathousandloweringsoldAhabhasfuriously,foaminglychasedhisprey—moreademonthanaman!—aye,aye!whatafortyyears'fool—fool—oldfool,hasoldAhabbeen!Whythisstrifeofthechase?whyweary,andpalsythearmattheoar,andtheiron,andthelance?howthericherorbetterisAhabnow?Behold.Oh,Starbuck!isitnothard,thatwiththiswearyloadIbear,onepoorlegshouldhavebeensnatchedfromunderme?Here,brushthisoldhairaside;itblindsme,thatIseemtoweep.Lockssogreydidnevergrowbutfromoutsomeashes!ButdoIlookveryold,sovery,veryold,Starbuck?Ifeeldeadlyfaint,bowed,andhumped,asthoughIwereAdam,staggeringbeneaththepiledcenturiessinceParadise.God!God!God!—crackmyheart!—stavemybrain!—mockery!mockery!bitter,bitingmockeryofgreyhairs,haveIlivedenoughjoytowearye;andseemandfeelthusintolerablyold?Close!standclosetome,Starbuck;letmelookintoahumaneye;itisbetterthantogazeintoseaorsky;betterthantogazeuponGod.Bythegreenland;bythebrighthearth-stone!thisisthemagicglass,man;Iseemywifeandmychildinthineeye.No,no;stayonboard,onboard!—lowernotwhenIdo;whenbrandedAhabgiveschasetoMobyDick.Thathazardshallnotbethine.No,no!notwiththefarawayhomeIseeinthateye!"

"Oh,myCaptain!myCaptain!noblesoul!grandoldheart,afterall!whyshouldanyonegivechasetothathatedfish!Awaywithme!letusflythesedeadlywatersletushome!Wifeandchild,too,areStarbuck's—wifeandchildofhisbrotherly,sisterly,play-fellowyouth;evenasthine,sir,arethewifeandchildofthyloving,longing,paternaloldage!Away!letusaway!—thisinstantletmealterthecourse!Howcheerily,howhilariously,OmyCaptain,wouldwebowlonourwaytoseeoldNantucketagain!Ithink,sir,theyhavesomesuchmildbluedays,evenasthis,inNantucket."

"Theyhave,theyhave.Ihaveseenthem—somesummerdaysinthemorning.Aboutthistime—yes,itishisnoonnapnow—theboyvivaciouslywakes;sitsupinbed;andhismothertellshimofme,ofcannibaloldme;howIamabroaduponthedeep,butwillyetcomebacktodancehimagain."

"'TismyMary,myMaryherself!Shepromisedthatmyboy,everymorning,shouldbecarriedtothehilltocatchthefirstglimpseofhisfather'ssail!Yes,yes!nomore!itisdone!weheadforNantucket!Come,myCaptain,studyoutthecourse,andletusaway!See,see!theboy'sfacefromthewindow!theboy'shandonthehill!"

ButAhab'sglancewasaverted;likeablightedfruittreeheshook,andcasthislast,cinderedappletothesoil.

"Whatisit,whatnameless,inscrutable,unearthlythingisit;whatcozening,hiddenlordandmaster,andcruel,remorselessemperorcommandsme;thatagainstallnaturallovingsandlongings,Isokeeppushing,andcrowding,andjammingmyselfonallthetime;recklesslymakingmereadytodowhatinmyownproper,naturalheart,Idurstnotsomuchasdare?IsAhab,Ahab?IsitI,God,orwho,thatliftsthisarm?Butifthegreatsunmovenotofhimself;butisasanerrand-boyinheaven;noronesinglestarcanrevolve,butbysomeinvisiblepower;howthencanthisonesmallheartbeat;thisonesmallbrainthinkthoughts;unlessGoddoesthatbeating,doesthatthinking,doesthatliving,andnotI.Byheaven,man,weareturnedroundandroundinthisworld,likeyonderwindlass,andFateisthehandspike.Andallthetime,lo!thatsmilingsky,andthisunsoundedsea!Look!seeyonAlbicore!whoputitintohimtochaseandfangthatflying-fish?Wheredomurderersgo,man!Who'stodoom,whenthejudgehimselfisdraggedtothebar?Butitisamild,mildwind,andamildlookingsky;andtheairsmellsnow,asifitblewfromafar-awaymeadow;theyhavebeenmakinghaysomewhereundertheslopesoftheAndes,Starbuck,andthemowersaresleepingamongthenew-mownhay.Sleeping?Aye,toilwehowwemay,weallsleepatlastonthefield.Sleep?Aye,andrustamidgreenness;aslastyear'sscythesflungdown,andleftinthehalfcutswaths—Starbuck!"

Butblanchedtoacorpse'shuewithdespair,theMatehadstolenaway.

Ahabcrossedthedecktogazeoverontheotherside;butstartedattworeflected,fixedeyesinthewaterthere.Fedallahwasmotionlesslyleaningoverthesamerail.